My words, My thoughts, and My feelings on trying to gain some happiness after the death of my Sweet Baby Boy Connor James. I lay it all out for you, the good, the bad and the really ugly. It's a journey in life I NEVER thought I would face and am so sorry I have to. Come join me..You will cry, laugh and smile all at the same time.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Again and Again..Life goes on
Again here we are in November. One of my dreaded months. I should be thankful for this month, but I'm not. I actually hate it. Because 3 years ago at this time I was patiently awaiting my 3rd child. He didnt have a name at that time but we called him, "Ralphie". Him and I had already been through some major battles, Morning sickness that was so bad some days I wasnt able to get out of the bed. I dont think I cooked one single thing for about 6 weeks. And then at 31 weeks the terrible blood clot in my lung. I was rushed to the hospital, the anxiety and sitting there with an oxygen tank and then being taken in for a CT scan. From the moment I got to the hospital they had the monitor hooked up and all I could hear was the "Thump Thump" of his heart. He was a fighter. I remember the nurse telling me what an active boy I had because she could hear him in my stomach moving around so much!! I want an active 3 year old. I want to potty train, I want to put him in time out, I want him to sleep on the bottom of the bunk where he belongs, I want him in Church Nursery with his little sister and MOST OF ALL I want him back so we can celebrate his 3rd Birthday!!
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