Different times, different feelings.

November is coming, November is Connor's Birthday month and a hard, sad day for me. Because I want my 3 yr old to hold and kiss. I want to buy him presents, and see him eat lots of cake. Yes, these moments make me cry, but they don't make me terribly mad like last year. I can tell I'm changing. I'm changing a lot. My feelings towards this is changing too. I miss him terribly, but sometimes you have to accept the things that have happened to you. Am I starting to realize this really happened, just maybe I am...who knows?