So on Monday I wasn't feeling the best about things, a little sad to be honest. And nothing really went my way. So last night after Soccer, the kids and I came home. I had cried the whole way home to myself. We came upstairs and Mitchell started talking about something that he likes that I do for him. Then Lindsey was talking about how she wanted ME to go with her on her field trip, and Cate was following me around whining because she wanted ME to pick her up. I went into my bedroom, sat on my ottoman picked up Cate and listened to what Lindsey was saying, when it hit me. These 3 children absolutley adore me, they think I am the best thing ever. And they all want me around and want to be my friend. They need me and rely on me..and best of all they LOVE me no matter what (even if I get mad and yell at them). What more could I ask for? I need them and they need me. They are truly my blessings!!
PS. I know Connor loved me too...He ALWAYS wanted me and ONLY me to hold him. I miss him, I think about the life we could have shared together.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
A Little Pick me Upper
So we all remember back in January, when I got told how crazy I was and I needed mental help by someone who doesnt even know me??
Okay, well the last 2 weeks I got told how much I am loved by the people that do know me?? DO you know how special I feel right now??
First, I am not going to name names, because with my reputation I can totally understand if you dont want anyone to know how much you TOTALLY love me.....:)
My Mother is NEVER ashamed of me, so I can name her. Anyways, she's been there since the moment I found that little boy asleep forever in his crib. Can you imagine her pain?? She's put up with my drama for 31 years and still loves me...WOW, she must be pretty amazing!! Thanks for ALWAYS putting up with me Mom, I love you!!
Then, this week Chris and I were talking about how we will always be someone's problem. It made me really sad because because I dont want to be ANYONE's problem. But this is who I am now, I was given that sweet boy a short 16 weeks, and I am so sorry I lost him. But I can't turn my back on it and not talk about it, I cant just act like it never happened. It will shape me to who I am now.
So, I recieved a card in the mail the other day from a friend, and there was a note in there on all 2 sides of the card. It made me feel so special, just to know she was thinking of me, and that I not alone.
Then, On Monday I got a visit from another friend, for some reason we didnt come to the door. SO she left cookies and sent me a email. It was a great email, and then at the end, she told me that her and her husband at re-newed our Ensign (church Magazine) subsciption. Which was so enounmously giving. This sweet friend has been put through some trials herself, with her Husband losing his job and her having to leave her sweet children and working. I dont think I would have ever been able to do that for another family, just they knew we were having a hard month. It really taught me something about sacrifice for others and how to be so loving. I will NEVER forget it.
Then there are those of you, that always call, always leave comments and call me when you are doing your housework just to talk. I want you to know I leave half the comments I do because I know you will respond and I NEED YOUR WORDS!!
Then there is one SPECIAL someone that has become my friend through this great trial. She ALWAYS has my back no matter how stupid I act. She always go shopping with me, to our favorite Thursday hangout, Goodwill. She always know when I need to go too, when I need to get out of the house. She's always there and I am so glad for her to be an ADULT friend. I know I will have her for a lifetime.
I could not possible list all of you but you know who you are. You are the ones that call ALL the time even though I dont answer. You are the ones that take me to the DR, even though my husbnd is at home, just because you want to, you are the ones that go with me to the cementary because you want to see where my sweet boy is buried. I love you all and I wouldnt be ALIVE without you.
Okay, well the last 2 weeks I got told how much I am loved by the people that do know me?? DO you know how special I feel right now??
First, I am not going to name names, because with my reputation I can totally understand if you dont want anyone to know how much you TOTALLY love me.....:)
My Mother is NEVER ashamed of me, so I can name her. Anyways, she's been there since the moment I found that little boy asleep forever in his crib. Can you imagine her pain?? She's put up with my drama for 31 years and still loves me...WOW, she must be pretty amazing!! Thanks for ALWAYS putting up with me Mom, I love you!!
Then, this week Chris and I were talking about how we will always be someone's problem. It made me really sad because because I dont want to be ANYONE's problem. But this is who I am now, I was given that sweet boy a short 16 weeks, and I am so sorry I lost him. But I can't turn my back on it and not talk about it, I cant just act like it never happened. It will shape me to who I am now.
So, I recieved a card in the mail the other day from a friend, and there was a note in there on all 2 sides of the card. It made me feel so special, just to know she was thinking of me, and that I not alone.
Then, On Monday I got a visit from another friend, for some reason we didnt come to the door. SO she left cookies and sent me a email. It was a great email, and then at the end, she told me that her and her husband at re-newed our Ensign (church Magazine) subsciption. Which was so enounmously giving. This sweet friend has been put through some trials herself, with her Husband losing his job and her having to leave her sweet children and working. I dont think I would have ever been able to do that for another family, just they knew we were having a hard month. It really taught me something about sacrifice for others and how to be so loving. I will NEVER forget it.
Then there are those of you, that always call, always leave comments and call me when you are doing your housework just to talk. I want you to know I leave half the comments I do because I know you will respond and I NEED YOUR WORDS!!
Then there is one SPECIAL someone that has become my friend through this great trial. She ALWAYS has my back no matter how stupid I act. She always go shopping with me, to our favorite Thursday hangout, Goodwill. She always know when I need to go too, when I need to get out of the house. She's always there and I am so glad for her to be an ADULT friend. I know I will have her for a lifetime.
I could not possible list all of you but you know who you are. You are the ones that call ALL the time even though I dont answer. You are the ones that take me to the DR, even though my husbnd is at home, just because you want to, you are the ones that go with me to the cementary because you want to see where my sweet boy is buried. I love you all and I wouldnt be ALIVE without you.
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