My Life changed on March 14th 2009. It was the end of what I knew as "Normal". I came to find out very quickly I would NEVER be normal again. Losing my son, Connor would change me forever. In the beginning I think my body was so numb, I could not feel the GREAT pain. I feel that pain now. I am so hurt sometimes I am not sure how I will make it through life. Sometimes I am not sure how I can even breathe again. I miss that child with my whole heart. He was MY CHILD, I wanted him and I needed him.
The past few months have been extremely hard, if you know me well enough you can see it. I hate everyone and everthing. I am so mad and angry sometimes I could fight the world. Quite frankly I am not sure how I havent gotten myself beaten up. There have been some okay days, but the ANGER is so severe, then the sadness comes. I NEED help!!
I need to improve my well being for myself and my family. My poor children have suffered more than I would have ever wanted them to suffer. My poor husband definetly is showing his commitment to an eternal marriage, and his eternal love for his family. He's not perfect but he puts up with me. My mother has dealt with my rude mouth probably enough, I know she hurts because she knows how bad I hurt.
So in 2011, I want to better my life. I want to find some happiness again. I am not sure what to do so I made a list of all the things that I thought I could do to try to make things better. Please floow me through this journey, hopefully you can teach me something or learn something along the way. I love you all!!
