Miss you

I miss my little boy, I wake up every morning thinking about him. He was the prettiest and sweetest baby. I look at my children everyday and know we are not complete. It makes me very angry to know that he is gone. I don't do well with anger. Anger eats at all people, and can ruin you inside. It's eating me, and I am not the person I was nor will I ever be again. I am changed forever. I am very angry that I lost Connor, it sometimes is hard to even come out of my mouth...."My son, Connor, died from SIDS one cold and rainy March morning." I have to say those words for the rest of my life....Do you really blame me for being so angry???

Something to be Jealous of...

About a month ago, my Aunt ( which is basically my second mother) was told that het 5 year battle with Ovarion Cancer has come to an end. There is nothing more medically that can be done. As I drove home from the hospital one night, I realized how jealous I am of her. She will see my Connor before me. Oh how I want to see him. I love her dearly and she doesn't want to die, but I would trade places with her in a New York minute to see my boy again.